Day 3: Matt's POV

Day 3 we spent at Fort Mountain in Georgia. We stayed the night and because a certain person who will remain nameless forgot to bring his gear we all had to fit into a single tent. This paired with the nice gravel flooring led to a pleasant night's sleep. After waking up we visited the “mysterious” wall of Ft. Mountain which after many, many stone steps turned out to be a pile of rocks. If I was a geologist I'm sure I would think it was delightful. So after that we went to the park office, paid for our campsite and as well as our mountain biking permits. Overly excited to get started I led us into a ditch. After riding that out we found the entrance to what the trail marker said was a 6 mile loop. Now the thing that should be known about any riding outside of Florida is that, well, they have actual mountains and for 3 of those 6 miles you're actually coasting on downhill (for the other half you're paying for that ride with a climb). In my opinion, which seems to be shared only by myself, it was pretty sweet, you get a ton of speed on those hills and if you can manage the switchbacks without killing your breakpads its overall a nice ride. Only issue is that a lot of the turns after the drops aren't banked so if you don't stop quick enough you're going to find yourself in a tree. Definatly something I'd ride again, although my partners might not be so in interested as you'll hear their account later. I also left out that after the trail we had to ride a lot of pavement uphill which didn't win me any points either.

Day 2 Recap

Mike and Matt did a coin flip to see who would share a bed with me. Matt was the lucky winner and after we all showered (separately of course) we slept in a creepy $60 hotel where I killed a huge bug on the air conditioning unit. Little did we know this would be pretty much the last time we would sleep on a real bed for the week.

After getting up Monday, we made our way to High Falls State Park in Georgia. It was a pretty amazing place. The waterfall was really a site to see. We met our 2nd guide here in Brenda Jones who was very helpful with setting up the canoeing/kayaking adventure. After trail running through the forest and catching our breaths, we rented a canoe and a kayak and made our way through the giant lake.

Unfortunately I suck at canoeing, but it was definitely a successful first half of beast and feast. After completing our water world adventure, we headed back to the quest and left High Falls for Big Pie in the Sky.

Mike and I mentally prepared ourselves for the 30-inch, 11-pound gigantour known as the Carnivore Challenge. Stomachs rumbling in anticipation, we waited for nearly 2 hours to start. The first slice of this gooey, salty, piece of heaven was amazing. We quickly learned our eyes were bigger than our stomachs as we struggled to get through 2.5 slices each. Ultimately, we admitted defeat, leaving behind a pile of greasy, overly-salty, soggy pizza slices. We did meet two guys in Kelly Fanning and Geoff Thompson who were very welcoming and cool guys to talk to.

After we rested for a bit, we made our way up through the 2800 foot Fort Mountain to camp for the night. It just so happened Mike forgot the other tent and all three of us had to share a tent. Tuesday morning we went mountain biking through hell and were ready to kill Matt by the end.

Celina

Reason's to Come Back:

BBQ

The people

Slingshots

Cafe cubano

The junk shop

People here do not make fun of my Spanish

Reasons to Not Come Back:

The lack of internet/phone service

The convicts who roam freely outside the prison

The things that live in the woods

Cafe cubano

Ode to Little Debbie and Her Oatmeal crème Pies

OpenOffice keeps correcting “creme” for some reason. Nevermind. We stopped at a Safeway the other night to buy some milk. All this time I've been looking for Oatmeal crème Pies. I don't know why really, but I wanted them. Not only did the Safeway have said pies, they had them in bulk and on sale. I ended up buying two “Big Packs” for $6 and change. That's 24 count in total weighing in at 4 lbs. Last night, as well as finishing my first box I also read the Nutritional Facts for my first time ever. Under calories it read “330”. Okay I thought, so a serving must be 2-3 cookie things. Nope. Thats for one. One delicious crème filled piece of heaven is 330 calories. Before that I had already had 2 and was working on my third I had pretty much eaten my recommended calorie amount in less than half an hour. Besides having some indigestion and very strange dreams I woke figuring I had avoided any serious side effects of consumption. I was wrong. Terribly, horribly wrong. I went outside to use the bathroom when I picked up a weird, yet familiar scent. It was that of oatmeal. I'm no expert on anatomy or bodily functions but either I'm going insane or my sweat smelled like the cookies. Perhaps it's a sign I should stay away from them but the unopened 12 pack sitting in the back of the Quest says otherwise.

Ode to Cafe Cubano

I like Cuban Coffee. I like it quite a bit in fact. Last night at the “Cuban Lady's House” (in Miami that would be very vague but in Celina it's strangely specific) I was offered a cup. Then I was offered another one. Because I have issues saying “no” to people and enjoy this rocket fuel of a drink I happily drank my shots and really felt like I could have had a couple more. This morning we stopped by her house again to pick up a loaf of “Monkey Bread” and she offered me some more of this drink which has apparently become my equivalent of catnip. Attributing my heartburn last night to the 990 Calories of Little Debbie Oatmeal Crème Pies, I took the cup and happily drank it down. As we were about to leave the CL asked if I want to take some cafe with me. Wide eyed and intrigued I asked “You can do that?” curious as to how I would carry a coffee shot cup in the car without spilling.

“Well I'll put it in a thermos”.

Because I'm stupid I said okay.

So she made another batch and poured all of it in a Thermos. It was then I realized this lady is not nice, she's an enabler. I had about 16 oz in that cup. I finished it all before we hit Cookeville which is about 40 minutes away, stopping halfway to reapply antiperspirant. And now I sit here driving the wonderful curves of Tennessee feeling the acid I've consumed burning its way down and hoping that before we hit the “Vortex Bar and Grill” I can find someone to pump my stomach.

The Following

is what I wrote on the car ride today. More to come eventually

We are

Currently in front of a closed BBQ place which so far is the only place we've been with wifi in the past couple days. Because of this we haven't been able to update the blog recently and can't find any other BBQ pits. We'll have updates later if the library does indeed have the internet we so crave

Day One Journal

Today we embarked both on and in our quest for epicness . We decided that as this is the BEAST & FEAST road-trip that we should revisit the site of the original beast and feast. Thus we proceeded to a corner of hell known as jonathan dickinson state park and went to the mountain bike trails with the intent of beasting and then later feasting at Big Apple Pizza. As matt put it it would be "like thanksgiving", he couldn't have been more wrong. we got to the trails and a guy asked if he could join us as his friend just left. We said sure, he looked kinda beastly and we figured it couldn't hurt. as we proceeded i found it incredibly difficult to ride and was excessively tired and couldn't keep up, now I'm at the very least ex-athletic and it didn't make sense until miles into the trail when going over a log obstacle steven pointed out i had a flat front tire. So i had to pick up my bike and carry out of the trail and down the road some until the others brought back a replacement tube.As it turns out the man who had joined our expedition earlier was none other than "Rudy" of Real Deal Bikes. it turns out that when you have a flat tire there's no-one better to be with than a bike shop owner and beastly mountain biker, both of which Rudy is. So the tire was fixed and we rode out and onwards to Big Apple Pizza.

Big Apple Pizza was amazing as usual and we ate to our hearts content and then a little more. As part of the goal was to stretch our stomachs for the impending challenge once i had eaten my fill i decided i would force myself to drink 3 large cups of water in quick succession to do just that.BAD IDEA. Thirty minutes and several dry heaves later we embarked towards Georgia and are currently awaiting the next days trials somewhere around macon.

Day One:

In 25 minutes we will officially begin. Are we ready? Kinda sorta.

So im sitting here at my computer at 12:52a.m unpacked,unshaven and generally unkempt but it has just dawned on me that this trip is actually happening, just hours from now we will embark on what we hope will be an epic moment in our lives and the highlight of our summer. Its a bit strange looking back and seeing how the idea of our "epic" roadtrip has evolved from an empty promise to a plausible experience.

The plan is essentially to hit all the stops marked on the map and beast and feast our way up the southern united states eventually ending at my house in tenesee and then coming back down.

This blog has been set up so that upon our return we will not have to relate weeks of information to countless people but instead direct them here after or as the events are taking place.Feel free to comment on anything with either remarks or questions and we will most likely upload the escapades of the day late at night or the day after,and look for a video to be released some time after we return which chronicles our experience and our battle with "The Carnivore Challenge".

Beast and Feast - A poem

A little different from all the rest
Three young men soon to embark on a quest

First stop in Hobe Sound
Where Big Apple Pizza leaves our stomachs round

Full of pizza and Garlic knots
The food of gods is the special sauce

Big Pie in the sky lies in the midst
An 11 pound pizza challenge to be crossed off the list

We’ll bike up mountains and fish for some bass
I’ll bet I’m the first one to fall on my ass

Biking on mountains and trails and through trees
Does that really sound like fun for me?

But its worth the sacrifice and the pain because I’m a beast
Because in the end it’s all about the feast

Beast & Feast Following

In addition to this blog updates of our Quest will be broadcast on http://twitter.com/helloground which will switch to Beast & Feast coverage on Sunday. Videos when available will be posted on http://www.youtube.com/user/bonjourfloor as well as embedded here in the blog. Pictures at sometime or another will probably make it to Facebook.

I'm assuming I have figured out that somewhere in the past I have already paid my dues to AT&T and can use their Starbucks wifi locations without cost, which would be swell

My PreTrip Thoughts and Will

Today is Thursday, in only a few days Mike, Stephen and I will depart once again on a journey, a journey unrivaled by journeys before it and possibly greater than many that will follow. Some of called us fools, others heros, but the majority just really don't care which is fine because you people have no friends. As I was saying, this Sunday we set forth on a Quest to discover, nay define the word "Epic". That's all well and good and will be awesome, but as I did for our trip to Jonathan Dickinson State Park I am forced to look on the less delightful end of the spectrum. Originally I was not going to do this but when Mike informed me yesterday we might have to by a lovely thing called "bear mace" I felt I was obligated to. So here are some things you should now about this trip, because you out there, you facebook readers of notes and other lurkers, I entrust with writing my obituary. While in Tennessee we will be staying in Mike's house. Every time I'm am informed about the house's condition it seems to lose something. At last check I believe there's a large chunk of the living room wall gone, exposing it to the elements. This, as Mike has told me is not a critical issue as long as I keep away from the mating deer that have made this area of the house their "love cave". Also on the property there are numerous gullies and pits that Mike has told me we can explore, he just doesn't know if we can climb out of them. I have also been informed the people in the surrounding area are "nice". I believe this wholeheartedly because people who have loaded gun racks on the back of their trucks are always the friendliest of people. As one of our stops Mike and Stephen will be competing in "The Carnivore Challenge" which will be described in more detail on our blog which I will shamelessly plug later. I will not be competing because while they are eating I will be assembling a list of area hospitals and lining the interior of the Quest with plastic wrap in case the pizza, as the contest holders put it, "leaves the contestant" on the ride after. Apparently we will also be doing some farmwork (yay?) which would be rewarded with a "Good home cooked Southern meal". Mike says that last part in an oddly soothing way, its weird and I won't discuss it any further. So seeing as I cannot think of anymore things to worry about (which worries me in itself) I will move on to what to do in case the trip does not go so well. How will you know if its taking such a terrible path you ask? This is where the shameless blog plugs come in. So you may have read the word "Will" in the title and thought "Hey I like stuff" and wanted to see what I am going to leave and what you might get. In order to avoid and confusion/jealousy/sadness I have devised a system to divvy out my crap belongings. Over these past couple days I have labeled everything I own with a number. Each of these numbers corresponds to person I know and relates to the order in which I met them so the number 1, relates to the first person in my "posse" I met and moves from there. Because I don't have that much stuff/didn't put that much thought into my system, there's only an item 5, 11, and 21 so you can sort that out amongst yourselves by whatever means you'd like. I'd suggest some sort of primitive stick fighting. And before we leave, we'd all really much appreciate a batch of brownies. Thanks - m@

Origins

The concept of "Beast & Feast" originated while camping over Spring Break at a corner of Hell known as Jonathan Dickinson State Park. While exploring the rather quiet area of Hobe Sound we came across a wonderful little pizza franchise called "Big Apple Pizza". Little did we know this would become the place of legends. As we sat down for a stromboli an advertisement on the wall for "All You Can Eat Pizza and Pasta Wednesdays and Sundays "caught our eye. This is something I myself have only heard of on television, a deal of amazing value seemingly too good to be true yet we were sitting in such a mystic establishment. Unfortunately, it was only Tuesday so we slated ourselves to come back the next day for lunch. That morning we woke up, walked 5 miles and then went mountain biking on the sketchy at best trails. While grinding our way through the sand and heat, the motivation to keep going was the infinite meal that lay before us. Somewhere on those sandy, mildy crappy trails the moniker "Beast & Feast" came about. After we were done "beasting" these trails we would "feast". We arrived at Big Apple Pizza sweaty, not having showered in a couple days but left feeling too full to walk to the car, much less walk another 5 miles back to camp. Since that day "Beast & Feast" has become a mantra to live by. With this trip we continue its legend, but not only revisiting Big Apple Pizza but adding new and more extraordinary beasts and feasts to our resumes.